'When nothing else works, that's when you call a witch.'
my encounter with Rebecca Auman and her tarot decks
Our new episode started with an early morning text.
It was about a week before Christmas, and I was steeling myself for the holidays and the final days of Death, Sex & Money’s run at WNYC. It had been an exhausting fall — news of an unexpected work transition followed by frantically gathering information about what could be next for the team and our work. Picture days that started with journaling and to-do list-making with coffee, then once the kids were at school, launching into finishing episodes while also backing up old personal files on a hard drive, tending to the family budget, and zooming with colleagues and potential new collaborators.
It was a lot all at once, without much time for reflection. So when, in these zooms, the person would ask — “Well, what do you want to do next, Anna?” — I only had some half-baked thoughts and initial instincts to offer. I hadn’t really had the time to get clear on any of that.
Alongside all this, I started to listen regularly to a podcast called Voices in the River. At first, I was drawn to host Rebecca Auman’s voice: warm with a cushion-y North Carolina accent that reminded me of my cousins. Since was a child, Rebecca tells her listeners, she’s had this gift of seeing; she now self-identifies as a witch. On her show, she talks with guests — mostly Type A women maneuvering through midlife with a can-do, charging-ahead gusto I recognize — and Rebecca asks them to slow down and consider what a little magic might offer.
Listening to this show helped me take a breath. Rebeca offered the idea that a lot of beauty and possibility happens when you lift your eyes and stop trying to do it all on your own. Maybe I didn’t need to muscle everything back into place so quickly. Some people feel this as faith, but that hasn’t always come naturally to me. I needed this invitation from Rebecca.
And as I listened, I heard in passing that Rebecca does these year-ahead readings for people. I needed that too! So early one morning before the rest of the family was awake, I texted my friend Theo, who works with Rebecca on their podcast, and asked: could I do a reading with Rebecca and record it?
In our new Death, Sex & Money episode this week, from our new home at Slate, you hear some of that reading with Rebecca. I also interview Rebecca about her life and how she experiences intuition. Turns out, even when you’re a witch, you don’t always see yourself so clearly. (Make sure you listen all the way to the end to hear Rebecca compare a potential run-in with an ex at the grocery store to coming upon a predator in the wild. “When you meet your adversary, you have to act bigger, not run away!”)
Our episode last week — A Sociopath’s Guide to Death, Sex & Money — got a lot of listeners talking and writing in. Some Slate colleagues made this video about some of what we heard back. Here’s an email from a listener that stood out:
I listen to a lot of podcasts and never felt compelled to write the show until now. Of any episode of any show this was one of the most enlightening and constructive I’ve ever listened to.
Still unpacking how so many of Patric’s thoughts and experiences can be simultaneously unrelatable and relatable to me as an autistic person who experiences emotions intensely. Answers to some lifelong questions about shame and guilt and pleasure and grief were suddenly revealed to me in the dramatic contrasts.
You guys really came out swinging with this one! I feel like I should send you my copay. wonder if an FSA claim could be submitted for Patric’s book and Slate membership? :)
Thank you! No one needs to send us their copay, but yes, we would love if you’d support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a Slate Plus member.
The team and I have been listening to all the life advice questions you have sent in. For an upcoming episode, a few of my Slate colleagues joined me to talk through the varied collection of big life transitions you’re in the middle of – from what to do immediately post-college to how to fill your time in retirement. You’ll hear that next week, but in the meantime, I’m sharing a question from a listener that we didn’t have time to tackle:
I am trying to decide whether to move out of my home I got out of an abusive relationship four years ago, but unfortunately, I still have to see the person because he's the father of my son. I'm realizing that this home has memories I don't know that I'll ever be able to get away from. It's a nice home. Moving's hard, I'd love advice. Thanks.
Do you have thoughts to share with this listener? Have you ever had to continue to live in a physical space that had heavy memories? How did you change up the place to make it yours? If you did eventually move, how much time did you give yourself to have the energy for a move? You can share your experiences and advice in the comments below or email us at deathsexmoney@slate.com and I’ll pass on your thoughts to this listener.
Come out and see me in real life!
Stanford, CA on 4/26 - I’m doing the second in a series of talks about interviewing with the Stanford Storytelling Project. Info here.
Washington, DC on 5/2 – I’m interviewing Natalie Foster about her new book The Guarantee: Inside the Fight For America’s Next Economy (out today!) at Politics & Prose. Info here.
San Francisco on 5/23 – I’m interviewing Miranda July about her sexy new novel All Fours live on stage at City Arts & Lectures. Info and tickets here.
Two final gifts for you this week.
My friend Tommy Tomlinson’s new book Dogland is out today. It’s a great read that made me laugh out loud and appreciate dogs even more. But I want to make sure you also read this beautiful remembrance Tommy wrote last week about his brother-in-law Ed. Ed was the long-serving director of public works in his small town in Georgia, and in Tommy’s family, Ed was the one who held them all together. May we all live a little more like Ed.
Spring has sprung in Berkeley. My 5 year-old urged us to go out with clippers to harvest a rose from beside our driveway. Look at this!
This newsletter is free to you. To support me and the Death, Sex & Money team, please become a member of Slate Plus. You’ll get ad-free listening to our show, and all other Slate podcasts. Sign up for Slate Plus here, or if you listen in Apple Podcasts, click “Try Free” at the top of our show page.
To the woman who asked for help about whether to move or not, she should try to clear the energy from her property. There are lots of ways to do this, but a simple one is to get a copy of your plot plan from your town or city, reduce it to an 8 1/2 inch by 11 inch size, laminate it and then pour a layer of salt covering your entire property. Say a prayer or state an intention to clear your entire property of everything not related to your joy. Say thank you. Repeat weekly indefinitely. If you live in a condo or apartment sketch a layout of it, marking doors, windows and the 4 directions and proceed as above.
It is all about your intention. You should only do this for your own living space. Let others be sovereign and make their own decisions.