A Baywatch star on being stalked, and fighting back
plus, a home reno at Death, Sex & Money
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asking for your stories and philosophies about beauty interventions to help you maintain or change the way you look. (You can still share your story by sending a voice memo to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com.)
And, in that spirit, we unveiled our new facelift. For the first time in six years, we have a **new logo** at Death, Sex & Money.
I love it! The same bold words, with a broader mix of colors, that, like our show, include some darkness and some brightness. It makes me think about “parts work” in therapy, and this poster I bought after seeing the Ruth Asawa exhibit at SFMOMA. Thanks to the Slate art team for their beautiful work, which feels like a wonderful housewarming gift after the team’s first year at Slate.
A Firsthand Experience of Stalking, from a Global Baywatch Star
Actor Alexandra Paul had been famous for decades when a woman who became her stalker knocked on her door. Alexandra was best known for her role on the 90s global phenomenon Baywatch, and interacting with fans had been a part of her job that she loved.
The relationship with her stalker started pleasantly enough, but that turned sour. Over thirteen years, her stalking experience included intrusions into her home and neighborhood routines, violent outbursts, lies spread on the internet about her husband, and attempts to hide and being found.
I first heard about Alexandra's story through an essay she wrote on The Ankler, a newsletter covering the entertainment industry. In this week’s episode, I spoke with Alexandra about the heartbreak of losing her innate trust and love for fan interaction, and the hard work of bringing a stalking charge:
People Magazine would've loved this story, but I didn't want it to be about a victim and a the bad, the bad stalker and the poor celebrity. I wanted to help people understand the psychology of the celebrity stalker, how it affects celebrities, because a lot of people will say, oh, they're famous. It's just, they sort of deserve it. It does go along with the territory, but that doesn't mean it's right. And we should have empathy and know how to deal with celebrity stalking.
After my conversation with Alexandra, I had a lot of questions about the delusions that can power obsessive stalking of a famous stranger. “Erotomania” is one way it’s described, and Dr. Joseph Pierre, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, answers my questions about its causes and treatments in my conversation this week for Slate Plus members.
Other Recommended Reads, Watches & Listens
-I’m trying to understand all the ways the big new domestic policy bill that just passed the Senate this week is rewriting the social contract in the United States. In the podcast Rolin Forward, two sisters who are both doctors (and share the last name Rolin) unpack the winners and losers in healthcare from providers’ perspectives.
-“When farmers in North Dakota went from barely making ends meet to becoming millionaires overnight, nobody expected the psychological toll that would follow.” This piece follows the social and community upheaval that has accompanied the discovery of oil on some North Dakota farms, leading to new windfalls of $50,000 or more per month, and an increase in depression. “We’re seeing rates of depression increase by 40% among newly wealthy landowners compared to their pre-boom baseline.” EDIT: This might be an AI-generated news article that I mistook for something real. I’m going to look into this further and will let you know what I find out. Thanks to the commenter below for flagging.
-It’s Wedding Season, and I’m finally getting to Alison Espach’s novel from last year, The Wedding People. I’m whizzing through and appreciate the questions it surfaces about what drives the plot of a woman’s life after pre-midlife adulthood milestones — marriage (or not), parenthood (or not), career launch (or not) — have passed.
Until next week,
Anna
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Listen to our latest Death, Sex & Money episodes
7/1 Baywatch Made Me World Famous. My Stalker Stole My Privacy.
7/1/ Bonus: The Psychology Behind Stalking and Erotomania (Apple|Spotify|Slate)
6/24 Allison Williams on Botox, Privilege, and Gen Z’s Love of Marnie From Girls
6/17 How Much Can Your Love Life Change in One Summer?
6/17 Bonus: Should A Mostly White High School Perform The Wiz? (Apple|Spotify|Slate)
6/10 Money Advice For This Weird Moment
6/3 How a Matchmaking Job Inspired a Film About Dating’s Secret Economy
6/3 Bonus: How Much Would You Give Up to Be More Attractive? (Apple|Spotify|Slate)
5/27 Betraying a Friendship to Get a Viral Story
5/27 Bonus: Big Tech and the Rise of the “Do Nothing” Middle Manager (Apple|Spotify|Slate)
I think the article about North Dakota is AI generated - I can't find the original research that is quoted and no recent papers have been published called "North Dakota Oil and Gas Industry Impact Study".
Fortunately I've never had a stalker, but my mom did. Sometimes I wonder how much the trauma brought on by being stalked contributed to the severe emotional neglect I receive from her. It's so bad that we're not talking. I really appreciate how sensitive this episode is (and all of the D, S & M episodes are).