How to give good chat

Lessons from Kareen Rahma of 'Subway Takes'

Apr 18, 2025

When was the last time you struck up a conversation with a stranger?

Visiting and chatting with folks was the customary way of moving around public spaces when I was growing up in West Virginia. Where I live now, in the Bay Area, there’s a lot of looking at the ground while you pass someone on the sidewalk and keeping your coffee orders tight with no extraneous blabbing.

…and I love extraneous blabbing! Especially when it’s funny. Trading a quip and a smile with someone used to feel like a micro-romance.

My spontaneous chat muscle is now atrophying. I used to never let an Uber ride pass without learning something new about wherever I am. More and more, I clam up in the backseat and knock out a few emails.

For these reasons and more, I love the work of Kareem Rahma. On Subway Takes and Keep the Meter Running, he lets me listen in on passionate, low-stakes debates. And because Kareem is funny, warm, and fast — and these videos are very well-edited — it’s like I’m watching everyone be their best, spontaneous selves.

In our new episode this week, Kareem Rahma tells about the origins of his good chat, starting with debates with his dad.

Listen now.

And after you listen, turn up your speakers and jam to his band’s song, “Really Rich Parents.”

Caregivers Unite! (And in Berkeley on Saturday, We Party!)

If you're a caregiver of any kind and can make it to California’s East Bay on Saturday, come out and party with me and fellow people who care.

We’re celebrating the paperback release of

Elissa Strauss

’ book When You Care. She was on Death, Sex & Money last spring, and I’ve recently enjoyed how her essays on Substack keep pushing us to talk parenthood beyond the simple binary of Having-kids-is-dreadful versus Having-kids-is-the-best-way-to-be!

Speaking of the multiplicity of care, I’ve been exploring a new tool called The Care Board developed by Misty Heggeness and a team of social scientists at the University of Kansas. Dive in and click around to get a sense of the universe of care work in the United States, paid and unpaid, broken down by gender, parenthood status, and age.

Finally, if you ever feel like your labor as a caregiver is invisible, let me introduce you to artist Sarah Rich’s project, Department of Invisible Labor. Now you can look very cool while also making unseen work visible to ourselves and others.

Mailbag: The Particular Grief of Caring for Animals

Earlier this month, we shared an episode of our live comedy show, featuring guests including Bay Area veterinarian Faith Albright. It prompted this note:

`Hi Anna and DSM! I just finished a stretch of shifts in the job I have loved/hated/laughed in/cried through so much for 14 years as an emergency medicine veterinarian. I can't tell you the number of times over the years, while listening to the podcast, I have thought "why isn't anyone asking a vet's opinion on death/hospice/loss/laughter in tragedy?". The recent episode on laughing at hard things hit so many nails on the head. So I guess I'm just here to say thank you for including one of us in the conversation. It was a nice surprise to hear a fellow SF area vet's voice and laughter come through. Thank you for every ounce of work you put into these episodes. The emergency/critical care space in vet med is a wild one. Your show has provided me a space to place/process/release the rollercoaster of emotions this job brings more times than I can count. Thank you for the beautiful work you do.
-Elyse

Two more episodes from the archives you want to check out about the moral stress of care for animals: veterinarian professionals and suicide, mental health, and listeners sharing their grief about losing a pet.

ALSO - Many of you have been sending us your in-person love stories over the last few weeks – thank you – and we’re going through those now. We also want to hear from you if you are facing a major money decision right now when so much about our world financial system is changing. Tell us what’s going on. Send us your urgent money decision question, and we’ll try to find some good people to offer advice. Record a voice memo if you can and email it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com

From Somewhere with Anna Sale

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