First, a sincere thank you. You all came through with your home office chair recommendations! Thank you for so many opinions, links, and tips on where to find discounted Herman Miller’s. I ended up finding the perfect seat at this incredible warehouse of used Berkeley office furniture, that my friend Jim told me about after reading my cry for help.
There I found a herd of rolling mesh-back chairs, all likely dropped off after a start-up either closed or bought fancier furniture with a new infusion of cash. One in particular stood out to me, but when I rolled her to the front, the guy working there told me she wasn’t quite ready. He asked if I had ten minutes for him to clean her up.
I learned his name was Ben, and I watched as he turned this chair over, oiled all the joints, and then – you will not believe this – used tweezers to pull out hairs that had gotten spun up into a wheel and were keeping one from rolling smoothly. I had never considered that office chairs pick up our detritus like this!
I also picked up an office chair for the youngest member of our family.
They are now safely in my home, and I’ve retired that shameful folding chair I was using. At this moment, I’m sitting properly with my arms and lower back supported like a true grown-up. (And thanks to Ben’s attentiveness, we can all rest assured that if my home office is ever a crime scene, some unsuspecting 2022-era office worker won’t get wrongly pulled in because of errant hairs in the forensics report.)
Also this week, we were back in your Death, Sex & Money podcast feed with a Valentine’s treat – the story of when my now-husband, then ex-boyfriend, Arthur decided to write a retired senator whom neither of us knew to give me a call on his behalf.
One thing I will add about this episode — When I was making it back in 2014, I remember still feeling overwhelmed by the differences in my and Arthur’s work lives (ie, me making radio in a big city, him studying large mammals in large landscapes). Ten years on, with the knowledge of how that’s gotten sorted out pretty remarkably, I can see more clearly how our work is not so different. Arthur’s an ecologist, so his focus is always on interconnected systems and the particulars of context. I could describe my journalistic interests the same way. Both of us try to tell stories that are relational and attentive to complexity. So, let the record show that what felt like opposites attracting years ago now feels like part of a deep, foundational alignment.
Speaking of work, the team and I are deep into pre-production on new episodes, and I want to tell you about one fun thing coming up. We are doing a live event to celebrate Death, Sex & Money’s new life at Slate with you in San Francisco! It’s on Thursday, February 29 at KQED’s beautiful headquarters, and we’re calling the show Four Interviews and a Revival. Our guests will include some people you’ve heard on Death, Sex & Money before –comedian W. Kamau Bell , relationship writer Vicki Larson, as well as Dr. Bonnie Chen, the end of life doctor you met in an episode about grief last fall. Also joining us will be artist Carissa Potter, who runs one of my favorite instagram accounts @peopleiveloved and the newsletter BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS. And leading our house band: D’Wayne Wiggins, of Tony! Toni! Toné!, so get ready to groove through this revival! Get your tickets here.
And as we wrap up this Valentine’s week, I thought I’d share some recent favorite reading from the internet about the networks of love in our lives, as well as links to some more classic Death, Sex & Money episodes about love and relationships — because our entire 400+ episode archive is in your podcast feed, thanks to our new home at Slate. Check those out below.
More soon,
Anna
p.s. I’ve loved hearing your voice memos about the first sparks of work friendship. If you’ve still gone a story to share, send it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com.
New Reading about Love and Relationships:
“Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center” from Anne Helen Petersen in her Culture Study substack
“The Lure of Divorce” about mental illness, early parenting, a divorce reading list, and the aftermath of a marriage rupture by Emily Gould in The Cut
“Want financial security in America? Better get married.”by Anna North in Vox (sent to me by a single friend frustrated by financial penalties for the un-coupled
Classic Love & Relationship Listening from Death, Sex & Money: