Our older kid is starting kindergarten later this month. It feels like we're getting a raise, by only having to pay for daycare for one kid! We're shifting some of this freed up money to an extra $100 on the mortgage each month, and I'm going to bump up my 401K contribution by another 2%.
We bought a bigger house last year and have spent extra money in the last year on needed repairs. A kid in daycare, a car payment, some unexpected medical and vet bills all have me feeling scarcity. But I have a good job and live in the midwest. The new house is next to a park, so I don't feel like we missed out on vacations this summer. And I'm relying on grandparents for a few new pieces of clothing while others will be hand me downs or from Target.
Feeling neither abundance nor scarcity, though perhaps the latter is creeping in. My wife and I are lucky to have steady paychecks, and we live in a small midwestern city where prices are relatively low compared to other parts of the country. At the same time, we have a son with major medical expenses who has just decided to go to college (a surprise decision on so many levels). Because of the medical expenses, we've accrued a lot of debt and don't have much savings, especially for college (I sometimes joke that some people save for vacations, but we save for medications). We are on the way to climbing out of the debt, but now paying college tuition demands that we take on more. You might be asking yourself why we weren't saving for college all along. It's a good question, and the answer is a complicated one, involving those medical expenses, but also a host of other things that I now wish we'd handled differently. Honestly, I know we'll find a way to pay for everything, but I don't know that we'll ever be free of the debt. I'm edging closer to retirement age and didn't expect to be worrying so much about money every month at this point in my life. As a result, I end up feeling really stupid about money. My wife, by the way, is far more sanguine that I am about it which helps to ease the tension and keep the worry vibes away from our son who is very excited about trying college.
Our eldest daughter was certain that she needed to have expensive brands of clothes to go back to school and I could not dissuade her. What I ended up doing was giving each of our three girls an envelope of cash for their back-to-school clothing purchases. The older they were, the more money was in the envelope as larger clothes for older kids cost more. I held on to the envelopes as we wandered around the stores, and I told them that they could buy anything they wanted as long as they didn't exceed the amount of money that was in their envelope, including tax. As they bought things, I saved the receipts in their envelopes as a record of what they had purchased.
Our eldest quickly migrated toward the stack of Silver Tab jeans (do they even make those anymore?), excited that she could now buy them without me giving her the side eye. By the time that we were done, the oldest had found bargains, had not bought one pair of expensive anything, and found out that she could get three of something on sale for the price of one something not on sale. It was the least stressful way I'd ever discovered to go school clothes shopping, and that's what we did for every year after that until they went to college.
As an aside, the youngest had more money left in her envelope than either of her sisters. She is 36 now, has three kids, and is still like that, excellent at looking for bargains and top-notch at avoiding wasteful spending.
My munchkin is starting kindergarten at the end of the month. Now, we'll only have to pay for after school care, which means roughly 1200 more a month in the bank. Such a relief as the passed 6 months we've been spending more than we've been making. This will balance the scales so we can start saving again
My big money change came at the beginning of summer. My husband left his job in June. He had cancer two years ago that resulted in a lower limb amputation. He is cancer-free and was back full time at work, but his job was very physically demanding and he was ready for a change. I got a new job last year making the most money I ever had and we can afford living on just my salary alone for a while, so he took the leap. All our bills are paid and we're doing fine, but I can't help but feel like there's scarcity because we're only on one income. He's interviewing, but no real offers yet. I'm thinking about freelancing to help quell the scarcity scaries I've been feeling.
Transitions are hard. I never expected to be on the cusp of 40 years old, starting over again, after starting over in new places every two to four years since joining the "adult" world. I'm incredibly lucky to be doing so with a life partner I trust.
I feel very in-the-thick-of-it with both scarcity and abundance right now. I left a job I loved where I felt a true sense of calling due to circumstance (my spouse's academic tenure-track job was cut by that state's university system) but also by preference, as we felt a lot of frustration with the culture in that community. We made choices in this move that feel extravagant compared to previous ones (hiring movers for load out/in, buying furniture and household goods to suit our new space, donating (and unhappily in some circumstances, throwing away items that still had life, but perhaps not value for others). And yet I question every one of those changes. Spending too much, or too much too soon? Trying to reorient and set up a home in a space with MUCh less storage, should we keep the moving blankets we paid for? It feels ridiculous that I'm sad to discard the moving boxes we've been using and storing and using for 13 years.
We are here now. And I do not have a job. I'm struggling to rest, struggling to not rest too much, trying to set up a home and learn new places, and hopefully find the sense of belonging and adventure we are seeking here. Also, falling into self disgust as I look at all the types of jobs I'm not qualified for (and realistically wouldn't want). I'm scared that I'll never again have everyday employment that fits my life and personality so well. I'll definitely be taking a pay cut, again, after starting over, again. There is a lot of hope, but it feels tender right now.
Feeling a new reality this winter: baby is coming. First one, so lots of excitement, but worries and changes of finance. So as the season changes, doing lots of prep and financial calculation, knowing life will never be the same.
Our older kid is starting kindergarten later this month. It feels like we're getting a raise, by only having to pay for daycare for one kid! We're shifting some of this freed up money to an extra $100 on the mortgage each month, and I'm going to bump up my 401K contribution by another 2%.
We bought a bigger house last year and have spent extra money in the last year on needed repairs. A kid in daycare, a car payment, some unexpected medical and vet bills all have me feeling scarcity. But I have a good job and live in the midwest. The new house is next to a park, so I don't feel like we missed out on vacations this summer. And I'm relying on grandparents for a few new pieces of clothing while others will be hand me downs or from Target.
Feeling neither abundance nor scarcity, though perhaps the latter is creeping in. My wife and I are lucky to have steady paychecks, and we live in a small midwestern city where prices are relatively low compared to other parts of the country. At the same time, we have a son with major medical expenses who has just decided to go to college (a surprise decision on so many levels). Because of the medical expenses, we've accrued a lot of debt and don't have much savings, especially for college (I sometimes joke that some people save for vacations, but we save for medications). We are on the way to climbing out of the debt, but now paying college tuition demands that we take on more. You might be asking yourself why we weren't saving for college all along. It's a good question, and the answer is a complicated one, involving those medical expenses, but also a host of other things that I now wish we'd handled differently. Honestly, I know we'll find a way to pay for everything, but I don't know that we'll ever be free of the debt. I'm edging closer to retirement age and didn't expect to be worrying so much about money every month at this point in my life. As a result, I end up feeling really stupid about money. My wife, by the way, is far more sanguine that I am about it which helps to ease the tension and keep the worry vibes away from our son who is very excited about trying college.
This is a comment about back to school spending.
Our eldest daughter was certain that she needed to have expensive brands of clothes to go back to school and I could not dissuade her. What I ended up doing was giving each of our three girls an envelope of cash for their back-to-school clothing purchases. The older they were, the more money was in the envelope as larger clothes for older kids cost more. I held on to the envelopes as we wandered around the stores, and I told them that they could buy anything they wanted as long as they didn't exceed the amount of money that was in their envelope, including tax. As they bought things, I saved the receipts in their envelopes as a record of what they had purchased.
Our eldest quickly migrated toward the stack of Silver Tab jeans (do they even make those anymore?), excited that she could now buy them without me giving her the side eye. By the time that we were done, the oldest had found bargains, had not bought one pair of expensive anything, and found out that she could get three of something on sale for the price of one something not on sale. It was the least stressful way I'd ever discovered to go school clothes shopping, and that's what we did for every year after that until they went to college.
As an aside, the youngest had more money left in her envelope than either of her sisters. She is 36 now, has three kids, and is still like that, excellent at looking for bargains and top-notch at avoiding wasteful spending.
My munchkin is starting kindergarten at the end of the month. Now, we'll only have to pay for after school care, which means roughly 1200 more a month in the bank. Such a relief as the passed 6 months we've been spending more than we've been making. This will balance the scales so we can start saving again
My big money change came at the beginning of summer. My husband left his job in June. He had cancer two years ago that resulted in a lower limb amputation. He is cancer-free and was back full time at work, but his job was very physically demanding and he was ready for a change. I got a new job last year making the most money I ever had and we can afford living on just my salary alone for a while, so he took the leap. All our bills are paid and we're doing fine, but I can't help but feel like there's scarcity because we're only on one income. He's interviewing, but no real offers yet. I'm thinking about freelancing to help quell the scarcity scaries I've been feeling.
At loose ends and all tied up.
Transitions are hard. I never expected to be on the cusp of 40 years old, starting over again, after starting over in new places every two to four years since joining the "adult" world. I'm incredibly lucky to be doing so with a life partner I trust.
I feel very in-the-thick-of-it with both scarcity and abundance right now. I left a job I loved where I felt a true sense of calling due to circumstance (my spouse's academic tenure-track job was cut by that state's university system) but also by preference, as we felt a lot of frustration with the culture in that community. We made choices in this move that feel extravagant compared to previous ones (hiring movers for load out/in, buying furniture and household goods to suit our new space, donating (and unhappily in some circumstances, throwing away items that still had life, but perhaps not value for others). And yet I question every one of those changes. Spending too much, or too much too soon? Trying to reorient and set up a home in a space with MUCh less storage, should we keep the moving blankets we paid for? It feels ridiculous that I'm sad to discard the moving boxes we've been using and storing and using for 13 years.
We are here now. And I do not have a job. I'm struggling to rest, struggling to not rest too much, trying to set up a home and learn new places, and hopefully find the sense of belonging and adventure we are seeking here. Also, falling into self disgust as I look at all the types of jobs I'm not qualified for (and realistically wouldn't want). I'm scared that I'll never again have everyday employment that fits my life and personality so well. I'll definitely be taking a pay cut, again, after starting over, again. There is a lot of hope, but it feels tender right now.
thanks for mentioning The Double Shift and The Purse! Great to have you here on Substack and I'm loving the feel of the show since you moved to Slate.
Feeling a new reality this winter: baby is coming. First one, so lots of excitement, but worries and changes of finance. So as the season changes, doing lots of prep and financial calculation, knowing life will never be the same.